There was only one goal in the Mexico vs. Uruguay match today... and I missed it! Here are my instructions for how to miss a World Cup goal:
1. Offer to stand in an absurdly long "cue" to buy beer for your new friends (BTW, this is nothing like what we call a "line" in the US, it is a crowd of people all trying to elbow their way to the front)
2. Return 20 minutes later with beer in hand, thankful that the score is still 0-0
3. Try to give Maria 10 SAR in change from the 100 SAR note she handed me for the 90 SAR beer purchase (while Uruguay mount an onfield attack)
4. Weakly insist on providing change even though Jorge and Maria insist that I keep it (while Uruguay send the ball wide and forward into the corner)
5. Accept their counterproposal for an alternative form of payment... a shot of tequilla (while Uruguay mass players in the penalty area)
6. Respectfully squirt a token ounce of tequilla from their "water" bottle onto, mostly, my chin (while Uruguay cross the ball and smash a header into the back of the net).
7. Hear a loud and collective cry of disbelief from the Mexican fans and wonder what just happened (while Uruguay celebrate what turns out to be the only goal of the match).
And that is how I missed a World Cup goal. I;ve decided that "Tequilla Shots" should be on the list of what not to do at a World Cup match. Beer, it turns out, is much easier to drink while keeping your eyes on the match.
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