Trapped By a 1-year-old
Amelia, for her part, is also very verbal and also very friendly, which can be a dangerous combination. She loves to say “Hi” and says it to whomever will listen, and many who won’t. On a recent trip to Target, she leveled her gaze on the middle-aged woman standing in the checkout line behind her and gave her a hearty “Hi!” Unnoticed and undeterred, Amelia leaned forward and launched a salvo of three more “Hi”s. Her new friend smile politely and returned the sentiment with a “Hi.” At this point Amelia became very excited and followed with another “Hi.” What followed was a rapid exchange of no less than 12 “Hi”s between the two. The encounter ended abruptly when our middle aged friend realized that her only escape was a hasty retreat to another checkout line. To which, Amelia responded, “B-bye”
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Christmas 2003: IV
The Princess of Tautologies
One of the truest joys of parenthood is knowing the idiosyncrasies of our children. Isabelle has been blessed with accelerated verbal skills – for many months she has been explaining her needs in the form of tautologies. For example, “I need cotton candy because I need cotton candy.” These explanations have spurred many honest laughs around our dinner table. Isabelle’s tautologies serve to emphasize a point, which is good as long as you want that point to be emphasized. Some points, however, could do without emphasis, such as “Mommy… Daddy tooted because he tooted!”
One of the truest joys of parenthood is knowing the idiosyncrasies of our children. Isabelle has been blessed with accelerated verbal skills – for many months she has been explaining her needs in the form of tautologies. For example, “I need cotton candy because I need cotton candy.” These explanations have spurred many honest laughs around our dinner table. Isabelle’s tautologies serve to emphasize a point, which is good as long as you want that point to be emphasized. Some points, however, could do without emphasis, such as “Mommy… Daddy tooted because he tooted!”
Christmas 2003: III
You Can Get Deals on eBay
By mid-year Amelia was old enough to give Kristin time to begin to get back to her artistic roots. Krstin spent the summer building a child photography business called Small Fry Images. Small Fry has been remarkably successful – so successful that be early November Kristin was scraping together enough money to buy a professional-grade camera. She figured that, in addition to what she made so far, she could sell her existing camera and some other household items on eBay to afford the new camera. One thing that makes you a good “eBay-er” is quick shipment after an auction closes and payment is arranged. On the day Kristin had planned toe send the old camera and other loot, she spent several hours searching unsuccessfully for the keys to the Expedition. The situation wa sos urget that Brad sent his key (the only remaining key) home from work so Kristin could get to the UPS store by closing time – maintaining a good eBay rating always trumps something trivial like lost car keys. While Kristin was packaging a child’s activity table as the UPS store, one of the tiny doors swung open to reveal a space just large enough for… her keys! Somewhere in Fresno, Martha019 is enjoying her new $30 activity table unaware that she almost bought the keys to a 1998 Ford Expedition!
By mid-year Amelia was old enough to give Kristin time to begin to get back to her artistic roots. Krstin spent the summer building a child photography business called Small Fry Images. Small Fry has been remarkably successful – so successful that be early November Kristin was scraping together enough money to buy a professional-grade camera. She figured that, in addition to what she made so far, she could sell her existing camera and some other household items on eBay to afford the new camera. One thing that makes you a good “eBay-er” is quick shipment after an auction closes and payment is arranged. On the day Kristin had planned toe send the old camera and other loot, she spent several hours searching unsuccessfully for the keys to the Expedition. The situation wa sos urget that Brad sent his key (the only remaining key) home from work so Kristin could get to the UPS store by closing time – maintaining a good eBay rating always trumps something trivial like lost car keys. While Kristin was packaging a child’s activity table as the UPS store, one of the tiny doors swung open to reveal a space just large enough for… her keys! Somewhere in Fresno, Martha019 is enjoying her new $30 activity table unaware that she almost bought the keys to a 1998 Ford Expedition!
Christmas 2003: II
One Yellow Jacket Is Enough
Brad’s brother, Todd, is working in his MBA at Georgia Tech and has become a die-hard Yellow Jackets fan. He lives close by and can often be found at our house, especially on Sundays during a Redskin game. On crisp October Sunday we found more than one Yellow Jacket in our house… we noticed 10 in our walk-in closet. “Noticed” may be too weak a description for finding 10 angry bees in your closet. “Noticed” may be too weak a description for the sudden realization that a bee has hidden in the blue jeans you just slipped on… Brad was “noticing” a sharp pain in his left butt check the rest of the day. After such an unwarranted assault, Brad declared a ‘bee jihad.’ He emptied several bottles of Raid into the nest in the foundation beneath the closet and used at least two canisters of caulk to seal any holes in the closet through which the bees were finding a way inside. By Tuesday morning we didn’t have 10 bee in our closet anymore… we had 20! Finally we called the man the professionals call; someone who we’ve come to know as the Croc Hunter. Just like his namesake, he was armed with a fearless attitude and a strange accent (although this one was the South Georgia variety rather than the New South Wales variety). Like a modern day Marlin Perkins, he instructed his assistant, whose name we could swear was Jim, to rid us of our unwelcome guests. It was, by their own estimate, the fifth largest colony they’d ever seen. They returned three times to before we were finally rid of this menace. We are glad to report that we now have no bees… and a very well insulated closet.
Brad’s brother, Todd, is working in his MBA at Georgia Tech and has become a die-hard Yellow Jackets fan. He lives close by and can often be found at our house, especially on Sundays during a Redskin game. On crisp October Sunday we found more than one Yellow Jacket in our house… we noticed 10 in our walk-in closet. “Noticed” may be too weak a description for finding 10 angry bees in your closet. “Noticed” may be too weak a description for the sudden realization that a bee has hidden in the blue jeans you just slipped on… Brad was “noticing” a sharp pain in his left butt check the rest of the day. After such an unwarranted assault, Brad declared a ‘bee jihad.’ He emptied several bottles of Raid into the nest in the foundation beneath the closet and used at least two canisters of caulk to seal any holes in the closet through which the bees were finding a way inside. By Tuesday morning we didn’t have 10 bee in our closet anymore… we had 20! Finally we called the man the professionals call; someone who we’ve come to know as the Croc Hunter. Just like his namesake, he was armed with a fearless attitude and a strange accent (although this one was the South Georgia variety rather than the New South Wales variety). Like a modern day Marlin Perkins, he instructed his assistant, whose name we could swear was Jim, to rid us of our unwelcome guests. It was, by their own estimate, the fifth largest colony they’d ever seen. They returned three times to before we were finally rid of this menace. We are glad to report that we now have no bees… and a very well insulated closet.
Christmas 2003: I
Merry Epiphany!
Yes, Epiphany. You know, The Twelve Nights of Christmas? OK, we didn’t actually plan to send an Epiphany letter but events conspired against our best –laid plans. We began writing this letter just after driving back from a Thanksgiving visit with Brad’s mom and brothers in Washington, DC. We planned to drive to Dallas for Christmas (… you may not appreciate the gravity of these two sentences, so let’s be clear: we actually planned drives of 650 and 800 miles with our 1 and 3-year-old daughters. If you hadn’t come to this conclusion, you now have unambiguous proof that we are, in fact, craxy!) If you are anything like us, you ALWAYS forget at least one thing you had planned to bring. The best you can do is hope that what you forget is non-essential – you can always buy what you need, right? Wrong. On December 20, with the Expedition full of diapers, luggage, a portable DVD player, Christmas letters and half a sleigh full of gifts we began our westward journey. It wasn’t until somewhere near Tuscaloosa that we realized what we’d forgotten. It was the one thing we could not buy in Dallas: the picture of Isabelle and Amelia for our letter. So enjoy the picture and have a merry… Epiphany.
Yes, Epiphany. You know, The Twelve Nights of Christmas? OK, we didn’t actually plan to send an Epiphany letter but events conspired against our best –laid plans. We began writing this letter just after driving back from a Thanksgiving visit with Brad’s mom and brothers in Washington, DC. We planned to drive to Dallas for Christmas (… you may not appreciate the gravity of these two sentences, so let’s be clear: we actually planned drives of 650 and 800 miles with our 1 and 3-year-old daughters. If you hadn’t come to this conclusion, you now have unambiguous proof that we are, in fact, craxy!) If you are anything like us, you ALWAYS forget at least one thing you had planned to bring. The best you can do is hope that what you forget is non-essential – you can always buy what you need, right? Wrong. On December 20, with the Expedition full of diapers, luggage, a portable DVD player, Christmas letters and half a sleigh full of gifts we began our westward journey. It wasn’t until somewhere near Tuscaloosa that we realized what we’d forgotten. It was the one thing we could not buy in Dallas: the picture of Isabelle and Amelia for our letter. So enjoy the picture and have a merry… Epiphany.
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