L'Chayim
Isabelle had a fever this week and stayed home from school Monday and Tuesday. We received a call from a very concerned teacher at school who wanted to make sure that Isabelle wasn’t staying at home because she was feeling left out. Mild concern slowly transformed to overt laughter as the teacher explained her reasons for concern. Apparently, last week the teacher had asked if anyone celebrates Hanukah. Isabelle immediately raised her hand and then regaled the class with stories of candles, 8 days of gifts and other tales about Hanukah. It was reasonable to conclude that Isabelle is Jewish and it was sweet of teacher to grow concerned that, being the only Jew in the class, Isabelle may be feeling left out. As far as her parents know, she is a cradle Episcopalian with a precocious interest in ancient scripture.
Monday, December 25, 2006
White Christmas 2006: VII
Underwear?
This one is better told without preamble…
Kristin White: “I am headed home because I forgot underwear this morning.”
Kristin Hipp: “How can you forget underwear!?!”
Kristin White: “I don’t know, I was just too busy this morning to remember”
Kristin Hipp: “How can you be too busy to forget underwear!?!”
This one is better told without preamble…
Kristin White: “I am headed home because I forgot underwear this morning.”
Kristin Hipp: “How can you forget underwear!?!”
Kristin White: “I don’t know, I was just too busy this morning to remember”
Kristin Hipp: “How can you be too busy to forget underwear!?!”
White Christmas 2006: VI
Juan Valdez Meets Thomas Edison
Something was amiss the morning of the annual pediatrician’s visit. As usual it was chaotic trying to get the girls to use the bathroom and then out the door. The combination of two cups of coffee and the unusually heavy traffic was a constant reminder that Kristin had forgotten to visit the bathroom herself. “Bladder Panic” didn’t set in until she inched through the second stop light noticing the massive power outage – the second stoplight of almost 10 between home and the doctor’s office. Pulling into the parking lot after a torturously long drive, she noticed with mild curiosity, the pediatrician standing outside of the office building. Apparently, the power outage had chased the doctor, staff and patients from the office. Undaunted and nearly desperate, Kristin headed toward the first floor bathroom. A few steps inside the building, she met the nurse who was delivering supplies to the doctor outside. Knowing the bathroom would be pitch-black, the nurse offered Kristin the pediatric flashlight she had just retrieved (the heavy cylindrical metal type that produces a very focused beam for examining ears and throats). She charged into the bathroom shining the beam ahead of her into an eerie darkness. Almost as soon as she closed the stall door (as if privacy would be a concern), the beam began to become more and more focused until it was just a single point of light. And then it winked out, plunging Kristin into a darkness so complete that it would have been hard to deliberately reproduce. With hands she couldn’t see extended in front of her, Kristin attempted to find the bathroom door. When the nurse, who had come to retrieve the flashlight for a waiting doctor, finally opened the door, Kristin saw that she was actually stumbling around the far side of the bathroom – nowhere near the door. She returned the flashlight but on the way back to the car overheard the nurse explaining to the doctor: “That’s funny. It worked when I tried it upstairs.”
Something was amiss the morning of the annual pediatrician’s visit. As usual it was chaotic trying to get the girls to use the bathroom and then out the door. The combination of two cups of coffee and the unusually heavy traffic was a constant reminder that Kristin had forgotten to visit the bathroom herself. “Bladder Panic” didn’t set in until she inched through the second stop light noticing the massive power outage – the second stoplight of almost 10 between home and the doctor’s office. Pulling into the parking lot after a torturously long drive, she noticed with mild curiosity, the pediatrician standing outside of the office building. Apparently, the power outage had chased the doctor, staff and patients from the office. Undaunted and nearly desperate, Kristin headed toward the first floor bathroom. A few steps inside the building, she met the nurse who was delivering supplies to the doctor outside. Knowing the bathroom would be pitch-black, the nurse offered Kristin the pediatric flashlight she had just retrieved (the heavy cylindrical metal type that produces a very focused beam for examining ears and throats). She charged into the bathroom shining the beam ahead of her into an eerie darkness. Almost as soon as she closed the stall door (as if privacy would be a concern), the beam began to become more and more focused until it was just a single point of light. And then it winked out, plunging Kristin into a darkness so complete that it would have been hard to deliberately reproduce. With hands she couldn’t see extended in front of her, Kristin attempted to find the bathroom door. When the nurse, who had come to retrieve the flashlight for a waiting doctor, finally opened the door, Kristin saw that she was actually stumbling around the far side of the bathroom – nowhere near the door. She returned the flashlight but on the way back to the car overheard the nurse explaining to the doctor: “That’s funny. It worked when I tried it upstairs.”
White Christmas 2006: V
Water Works
Ella, knowing nothing but the chaos of a house of five, feels a certain obligation to contribute to the spirit whenever things start to seem under control. Her latest contribution has been to laboriously create a stool and high chair ladder tall enough to reach the refrigerator water dispenser. It just isn’t Monday morning at the White House without a kitchen flood!
Ella, knowing nothing but the chaos of a house of five, feels a certain obligation to contribute to the spirit whenever things start to seem under control. Her latest contribution has been to laboriously create a stool and high chair ladder tall enough to reach the refrigerator water dispenser. It just isn’t Monday morning at the White House without a kitchen flood!
White Christmas 2006: IV
A Compliment, I think…
Amelia, very sweetly and completely out of the blue one day told Kristin that, “I will not tell you that I want a new Mom – that would hurt your feelings. But if I did want a new Mom, it would be Amy.”
Amelia, very sweetly and completely out of the blue one day told Kristin that, “I will not tell you that I want a new Mom – that would hurt your feelings. But if I did want a new Mom, it would be Amy.”
White Christmas 2006: III
Outsmarted (Again)
When told earlier this year that she was mature for her age, Amelia wrinkled her brow and asked, “What does mature mean?” My oversimplified response was, “It means, old.” She pondered this as if I were a spelling bee contestant asking for the word to be used in a sentence. After deliberate consideration she finally proclaimed, “Well, Dad, you are VERY mature.”
When told earlier this year that she was mature for her age, Amelia wrinkled her brow and asked, “What does mature mean?” My oversimplified response was, “It means, old.” She pondered this as if I were a spelling bee contestant asking for the word to be used in a sentence. After deliberate consideration she finally proclaimed, “Well, Dad, you are VERY mature.”
White Christmas 2006: II
What did you say?
Sadly, Isabelle has almost mastered the English language. It was just after Thanksgiving that she finally conquered the very last word we haven’t had the heart to correct. At least we had one last holiday with a “Churkey” feast! Amelia, on the other hand, is mastering a completely different language: she can hear my “footprints” when I return from work, she recognizes NBC’s mascot as a “peahawk” and the furry little animals that live in the yard as “chickmunks.”
Sadly, Isabelle has almost mastered the English language. It was just after Thanksgiving that she finally conquered the very last word we haven’t had the heart to correct. At least we had one last holiday with a “Churkey” feast! Amelia, on the other hand, is mastering a completely different language: she can hear my “footprints” when I return from work, she recognizes NBC’s mascot as a “peahawk” and the furry little animals that live in the yard as “chickmunks.”
White Christmas 2006: I
Outsmarted
We have, in Isabelle, a formidable mind. We posted a sign in our kitchen this year that read: “There Will Be a $5 Charge For Whining.” When asked, rhetorically and purely to highlight the gravity of the offense, if she had $5, Isabelle quickly responded, “No.” But after a few seconds of further consideration she added, “but I can get it!” Leaving us with the realization that we will now be paying $5 for the privilege of hearing her whine!
We have, in Isabelle, a formidable mind. We posted a sign in our kitchen this year that read: “There Will Be a $5 Charge For Whining.” When asked, rhetorically and purely to highlight the gravity of the offense, if she had $5, Isabelle quickly responded, “No.” But after a few seconds of further consideration she added, “but I can get it!” Leaving us with the realization that we will now be paying $5 for the privilege of hearing her whine!
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