Christmas 2005: IV

The Fashionista


Amelia, who is otherwise very capable young lady, has had trouble mastering some simple daily tasks. Her shoes end up on the wrong feet significantly more than half the time. She often shuffles from the bathroom with her underpants around her ankles – most commonly in restaurants, malls and other high-traffic public venues. This all came to a head one morning when Kristin heard sounds of a mighty struggle coming from Amelia’s bedroom. Sounds of physical struggle gave way to sounds of emotional exasperation as Amelia made her way into the hall. Somehow, and we still aren’t certain exactly how, Amelia had wrestled her shirt onto her torso incorrectly in a 3 dimensions – it was backward, upside down and inside out. The neck was stretched tightly around her waist, her arms were pinned low like a Tyrannosaur’s and the rest was immodestly draped low across her chest. She surrendered the Great Shirt Battle of 2005 with an infuriated.”Momma, I don’t sink dis is wight!”